I woke up that night troubled, with a different kind of heaviness in my chest. I wished to stay in bed, although nothing could soothe my pain except ignorance.

I tricked my limbs into agreeing to a time to get up together. How can this body, eroded by the days, obey me so easily?

I went for ablution and dawn had already been announced without me hearing it... but the sleep of someone who fears accountability often awakens me.

I went for ablution, dragging my feet and coaxing my eyes not to see the glimmer of light, lest it alerts the soul and awakens it.

I prayed the two units of the dawn prayer, then stretched my body out of its place and I was still wearing my prayer clothes. It's okay, the chill of the air conditioner increases at dawn.

I was talking to myself... I have always wished to meet you while I struggle in your worship… even if it is not worthy of you, -nothing is worthy of your majesty- … even if it is not worthy of your place in my heart… but I strive, so help me, then I dozed off.

I woke up from my sleep to see what time it was, my mobile did not move and I could not pick it up. I went to open the room door, but the door did not move, however, I passed through it! Oh my God, what is this.

I called my children and they had already left for their work early, as did my husband.

I went to the reception and found a large number of loved ones waiting for me, very kind people, loved ones with faces glowing with light, I have always wished to see them even for a few minutes.

I warmly greeted everyone, hugged those I missed, and cried for a long time, then sat in my prayer clothes in silence, regaining wellness.

The eldest among them, a dignified and calm sheikh, gave me a silver card with my name on it. I asked him, "What is this, sir?" He looked at me reassuringly and added, "You will know soon."

I asked him, "Is it time to leave?" These silent loved ones, I know them. He did not answer me, but he continued to ask me:

-How many people did you hate? I answered, "No one."

-How many prayers did you miss? "Many, but I tried my best with what was left."

-How many people love you? "I don't know, but they are many."

-How many souls did you hurt? "No one intentionally, sir, I just ran away from those who hurt me!"

-How many souls did you help and mend? I replied, "You better ask God."

Then I leaned my head back as if burdened by the years...

-If you came, sir, to pick at wounds that have been festering for years, I can no longer bear it, but if you came for something else, you are welcome.

At that moment, the loved ones left, their images disappeared from my sight, and I could no longer see them. Only the dignified man and another, whose features I could not discern, remained in my house.

The two sat arguing, and I could hear the murmur of their conversation without understanding it.

I interrupted their conversation, "Sir, what do you want?"

-He replied, "The time to leave is near, and this man is your deed."

-But I cannot discern his features!

-You will one day, but today I bring you a reassuring message from someone who loves you.

-I don’t understand!

-We have been informed that you are not well, so what do you want to respond?

-Sir: We are humans, our egos fight us, sometimes the devil overcomes us to remove the veil of tranquility from our hearts.

Yes, sir, I am not well, but I will be soon, God willing. If you walked with me one day on my path, you would renounce my company. I have patched up my heart for years and will not open it to anyone, for the invaders have invaded me, and that was the most hurtful thing.

I admit that I loved everything in my world, I raised everything that the Creator gave me and valued it rightly, even if ...

-Do not continue ... save for your afterlife!

-Did I not? You certainly know that I often remained silent because some days I leave their reward to God.

I have stored what I cannot express today, but God will hear me one day, I will tell Him about those who supported me, those who mended me, those who wronged me, who let me down and tormented my soul. I have a lot to say to God, so let's go!

-Not today, my daughter, for you are not yet in your best form.

-Okay, how do I meet my loved ones?

-Get up and search for yourself, for there is little left!!

-Guide me ...

He got up to leave, pulled the card from my hand, turned to me, and then quietly, like never before, said "the silence of wellness" and left.

I woke up from my sleep wearing my prayer clothes, my heartbeats exceeded the limit, the silence of wellness???

Yes, I know it, I have experienced it a lot... it is the only feeling that keeps you well and teaches you the meaning of strength and self-control.

The silence of wellness, my friend, is to wait for someone who should be present but does not come, to swallow words that are not part of your nature and not to respond, to search in the darkness of your tribulation for what lights your path and to pass it by force, to live your day every day as if it were the last day, to leave some of your pains without talking about them, to keep your appearance pleasant even if the years have devastated you, to believe that your pains are your safe treasure to make the hereafter easier, and to forgive when you have the power, and this is harder on the soul than all that preceded it.

Indeed, my friend, passing through this world is like lightning, you will not notice it. Perhaps today we realize that some soul-beautifying operations are necessary, that some silence is better for you than a lot of talk, and that you should believe that your greatest reward is gained from your pain that you never articulated one day to reclaim your honor in it or to fend it off from yourself... God will do it one day.

Be silent from now on, for tomorrow your deeds will speak for you!