“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” A well-known proverb that is handed out from one generation to another. It is true to a big extent for a good friend is always present in times of calamity and need. A friend offers help and support when they are much needed. When someone faces a hard time whether in the death or loss of a beloved, divorce or an accident, or a situation that he cannot handle on his own he looks around looking for help and between all the people that he knows there is always someone who steps out and gives a hand saying:” Don’t worry! I am here and everything will be OK.”  He is then honoured as a “friend indeed”.

However, with the changing rhythm and nature of life many relationships and concepts changed as well. In such times of individualism and benefit-measured personal relations caring for the happiness of a friend is priceless. In hardships, people are moved by emotions of sadness, fear, sympathy and even shock unlike times of joy where nothing triggers their sincere reactions but love and care. A “friend indeed” should be rendered as the one who shows up in times of rejoice. He shares a big smile and a glittering eye instead of a tear. A sincere friend cares for his friend’s happy moments as equally as he does when this very friend is heartbroken. What forces me to be celebrating a new baby, job, dinner invitation or wedding of a friend unless I am really happy for this person and wishes him all the best. This true feelings mean that we are one bond and his happiness means a lot to me.

In hardships people show up motivated by commitment and duty in most cases but in times of joy it is different. Happiness is a time when envy and any other ugly feelings are revealed. It is a time of no pretence. You are not obliged to feel happy for a friend unless you really care about him. Neglecting a long awaited achievement of a friend is a sign that something is wrong deep inside your soul. Ignoring is a red flag. Bearing a grudge instead of a big smile cannot be disguised.

Friendship is like marriage it should be through thin and thick. It is not selective. Feelings of care and support in gloomy days should be the same in bright ones. I remember someone I know who was attending the first book signing event of her best friend and she was so excited and happy that many people thought that she was the author of the book herself! If you are sincere and caring you should show them in both situations equally.