This person is “mean” and this one is such a” coward” .He is “selfish”. She is “arrogant”. No, he is “silly” and she is “heartless.” If he had only done so and so he wouldn’t have been there. If she had only listened to such and such she would have been better off! Judgements are thrown towards everyone nearly day and night. We are surrounded by people’s opinions and what they think of us bewilder us in many situations. Friends, neighbours, or even family members evaluate our deeds and interfere in our lives. They give themselves the full right to judge, change or dictate on us what they think is good for us according to their own perceptions not our own preferences.

We are shackled by what others think of us. They interfere in our lives and give themselves the entitlement to judge our actions and our choices according to their stigma. This is right for you. No, you should have done that instead! Pardon me! Who gave you this right? Who are you to judge? It is none of your business that someone do this or that. No one asked for your opinion in the first place.

Everyone’s life is full of decisions to take and choices to make. He/she bears full responsibility of the consequences. Who set us in a position to judge each other? We are in life not in a court. Why do we judge each other? Why don’t we leave each individual to live his life without fear of exclusion or criticism just because one group of people in his community is not happy with his decision? Why are we putting too much pressure on each other?

A person might be overwhelmed by his own problems and earthly challenges. However, another individual, who knows nothing about his battles in life, judges him for lack of wisdom or imprudence. People may claim that he is no more agreeable or sociable. That he turned out to be a snob or an introvert or whatever.

The old Arabic anecdote of Joha tells us a story about him and his son. One day, they started a journey with their donkey. In the beginning, they both rode on the back of the donkey. A group of people saw them and directly accused them of lack of mercy towards the animal. Joha, influenced by their comments, decided to ride while his son walked beside him. Later, they passed by another group of people who again accused him of being a selfish father who preferred himself over his son. The father and son switched and resumed their journey. The boy was not later spared another accusation of mistreating his old father and having him walk a long distance rather than riding comfortably on the donkey. A decision was made to both walk and none of them would ride. A new group made fun of them for being stupid to walk while having a beast to ride and help them through the long journey! Helplessly, Joha, took the last action to please the crowds and decided to sell the donkey and resume the long journey on foot with his son! 

Who gave us the right to judge each other and control what others do? Who set this human hierarchy of “better than” and “worse than” deeds according to our own perception of things?! Judging shuts us from understanding each other. We mercilessly jump into conclusions. The only reference we should have is the divine godly guidelines. This is the norm we should follow. Otherwise, let people talk and object and don’t be stopped by them. 

Humans have only one Judgement Day where we shall all be fairly judged by our Creator. Thus, we should be heedless to people. We do what is right and what makes us proud of ourselves. We should be grateful that we have a just God who see our actions and evaluate our deeds. You can never please people. You are the only person responsible for your choices and you are responsible for your deeds.

For those trapped in the vicious circle of criticism: Step out of the trajectory of the darts. Move on with your life, God is your compass. Remember that you can never please people. As for those who are fond of judging others I say: stop your short sighted judgements. Instead of discrediting someone, have you ever thought of helping or supporting him? Be compassionate rather than judging. Aim to understand rather than criticize. Jesus said” he that is without a sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” “Be kind. For everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”