Family is the ruling unit of the society. In the family, man and woman are often seen fighting. They do not find compatibility and sometimes think of killing the other partner, or even getting rid of him or her

POINTS TO PONDER

• A partner who does not agree is better than a neighbour who agrees with you. For, that amounts to nothing.
• Infants too have their rights, though we do not recognize them. A child has a right to have his father and his mother intact. There should be a law, a child below the age of five cannot be deserted by any of the parents.
• Thus, tradition and culture have been branded by materialistic saints to warm up the market during festivals. Otherwise, the spirit of Indian men and women has no resemblance with its traditional trademarks.

• Let us give our all to save this institution, because the future of mankind depends on the family. And moreover, what will be the quality of people who follow us? If we are confused and can’t understand the drift of civilization, how can we create responsible citizens?

Image courtesy: Medium

In the family, man and woman are often seen fighting. They do not find compatibility and sometimes think of killing the other partner, or even getting rid of him or her. These fights are very common and crime serials show how they come to an end: one person is dispatched, and the other lands in jail for the rest of his life.

I personally think that if two people get married, it is only by a stroke of luck. Gods have ordained for, depending upon our ‘Karma’, whether we shall get a peaceful life or a disturbed one. You can see both want happiness out of this marriage, yet, happiness is a mirage.  What happens sometimes is beyond their wishes. It is here that we can see the role of divine forces.

The greatest property that a man has is the body and mind of a woman. And conversely, if you can own the body and mind of a person, and he is your husband, you are the richest person. This loss you feel when one of you is not there in your not so young life. Even if you have fought all through, yet living together, we develop some liking for our dislikes too. A partner who does not agree is better than a neighbour who agrees with you. For, that amounts to nothing.

When you get into matrimony, you make a hundred calculations. Even then they go wrong. Now, you can either try to retrieve your freedom through a divorce, or you can decide to continue. In both cases, life will be difficult. If in this time, you have got kids, you have no right to disturb their infant rights. Infants too have their rights, though we do not recognize them. A child has a right to have his father and his mother intact. There should be a law, a child below the age of five cannot be deserted by any of the parents.

let us give our all to save this institution, because the future of mankind depends on the family.

Now, you have no choice except to accept your fate. If you try to work against your fate, it will prove very costly. The best thing at this stage is: surrender to gods. And take up the challenge of living with an incompatible adversary [?]. The best thing is to accept that as a duty. As a husband, you have a duty towards your wife.  And as a wife, she too has a duty towards her husband. Time has come when we should stop talking about love. Marriage is now an adjustment, a compromise. All joy gone. All happiness compromised. Look at the baby faces of your kids, and don’t mind martyrdom.

Family is the ruling unit of the society, and it has become Kurukshetra, thanks to the machinations of the Devil, who does not want peace in the family. It is not possible to get rid of the institution of marriage. The only thing that can be done is to recast the marriage system. Let people have liberty to move in and move out if they cannot adjust. And it should happen before they get babies. Family and marriage have no meaning in the absence of conjugal relations. These days, man and woman are having issues relating to this aspect of their lives.  As a result of which, they remain dissatisfied and unhappy. And searching for more habitable partners outside.

Illustration courtesy: Saatchi Art

Nightmares

Any arrangement outside a stable marriage gives you nightmares. The better alternatives are to stay in marriage and surrender to your fate, or just divorce the person, and go in search of fresh bliss. Marriage is a dangerous enterprise, which gives thrill and kick in the beginning, but later on when one grows old, one feels there should have been someone to look after him in his time of need. When a man is going to die, there has to be a loved or half-loved wife, to shed tears and a son or a daughter who weeping conduct you to the final resting place.

A Society under Transformation

Our society is in a state of transformation, and we are turning western in our mental processes. India we are leaving behind, as we are riding the bullet train of progress. It is a strange paradox that the more we are going ahead, the more we are talking or culture and ‘samskara’. The reality is that culture and ‘samskara’ have been reduced to a mere show, only to be showcased on stage by school students or ladies who engage singers to sing traditional songs of marriage. The life of a villager is far different from the life that is shown in the serial and films. Thus, tradition and culture have been branded by materialistic saints to warm up the market during festivals. Otherwise, the spirit of Indian men and women has no resemblance with its traditional trademarks.

Take Away

In the case of marriage too, we celebrate big time marriages. People whose minds are at cross purposes, within six months, they are talking of divorce. It is essential that marriage should be simplified, and the concept of divorce becomes easier. However, while choosing partners, people should use two instincts: their intuition, love and other considerations. And the most important: let us give our all to save this institution, because the future of mankind depends on the family. And moreover, what will be the quality of people who follow us? If we are confused and can’t understand the drift of civilization, how can we create responsible citizens? Going so and without kids by choice, [although I believe men have no choice in these matters], is a negative mark of this civilization, and I lay the blame on the loud noises of this society, who in their selfishness and visionlessness, have let the society drift in wilderness, and failed to give a prolific vision to society.

Published under International Cooperation with "Sindh Courier"