A person spends most of their life captivated by beauty. Whether it be in people, material possessions, or natural scenes and tourism. Seeking beauty, venerating it is genetically coded into the human psyche. Focusing on the social aspect, we’ll talk about beauty in people.

We are all aware of the existence of an objective standardized form of beauty. Subconsciously agreed upon by the masses: facial symmetry, fair skin, big eyes, a healthy fit physique and any combination of each with a unique trait creates personal preference. This category of beauty creates an aura around people that affects people in two different ways. They either seem trustworthy or intimidating, seem more dependable or sly, and either elicit a need for validation from the individual or a need to prove the opposite. Usually, both people in this scenario are completely unaware of this and only see what’s happening on the surface. A conventionally attractive person could live their whole lives getting treated with more respect, get what they desire quicker through the help of others and never realizing its not the same for others or otherwise questioning the reason for their “special treatment.” An individual witnessing a conventionally attractive person could be intimidated by them and treat them coldly with no prior negative experiences shared by the two. Likewise, they could treat them noticeably differently from others, doing favors for them and seeking nothing in return, seldom consciously. One case is pleasing and the other avoiding the person. Both happen for different reasons: pleasure for validation, getting in the good graces of a popular and likely socially superior person, therefore benefitting from your relationship and ascending the social ladder; and avoidance as a means for evading intimidation, likely due to a prior witnessed negative experience perpetrated by a similar individual.

Beauty can be a shortcut, helping a person start from a point further down the line, while others depend on their social skills and performance surviving this modern landscape. Humans, though, are outlandishly paradoxical creatures. We’re born with the ability to perceive the world in a way unique to every one of us. Viewing ourselves and people in ways that completely contradict others’ perspectives, solely based on personal experience.

You, the reader. Remember that look of admiration you gave a person you loved after they did something you found impressive? Maybe one of your parents or significant other, someone you look towards when you need to feel safe and happy. Just the sight of them gives you clarity and peace of mind. These relationships subjectively beautify the people we love through them. Your history creates a similar aura around these people, eliciting a reaction not unlike that of conventional attraction. Attraction not necessarily romantic, but intimate fondness.

I remember as a kid I always used to look at my father’s friends and co-workers, eyes glistening with pride and tempered reverence, taking every chance to show them off within my personal circles. Their images grew more majestic by proximity. They deserved my praise and respect because they were companions accepted by my role model. I unknowingly gave them special treatment, different from people of my age group. I found myself trying to impress them on occasion, by showing my understanding of the complex topics they spoke about, and with knowledge of their respective fields. I tried to close the gap between us, hoping to connect with them. I pursued their acknowledgement because I wished to become them. This type of admiration was directed at a high caliber of people, enriched my character from its benefits essentially making me a better person, since validation was a measurement of my progress and not the end goal. Whether it be attraction or admiration, the subjects of both receive similar treatment since the feelings we get from either conform. Therefore, we should intend to derive difference in worth. The first case presented a baseless visual attraction purely instinctive that, if approached with the same admiration of the second, subconsciously places yourself in a position below the person you’re attracted to. You just unknowingly convinced yourself you’re unworthy, thus acting out of character seeking their validation. The only reason the second case is acceptable is because they are people you admire for their competence and merit. You look up to them for something they have and wish to learn from. Distinguishing between the two is necessary to being in healthy relationships and establishing your self-worth.

In essence, the way we treat others reflects our values and character. There’s no shame in exalting those who elevate us, while its risky and counterintuitive with those we are shallowly attracted to. In our intricate web of connections, how we engage with others goes beyond surface beauty, highlighting the profound interplay of instinct, emotion, and personal growth. Adopting this understanding allows us to forge meaningful, authentic connections and navigate the complexities of human interaction.