Dialogue may be difficult, even painful, but it is the only path that leads to resolution
Let us choose the path that builds, not breaks
In an age where humanity is connected like never before, where ideas travel across borders in milliseconds, one would imagine that dialogue has replaced violence as our first response to conflict. Yet, we continue to witness public brawls, domestic violence, schoolyard fights, and even leaders—those expected to embody restraint—resorting to physical aggression. Why do people still choose to fight when they could just talk?
This article explores the psychological, emotional, cultural, and systemic reasons that drive people toward physical conflict, even when the option of dialogue exists. Through real-world examples from Pakistan, the United States, France, Sweden, and beyond, we attempt to understand the deeper forces behind these breakdowns in communication—and what can be done to prevent them.
When the Mind Snaps: The Psychology of Physical Aggression
One key reason people turn to violence is rooted in neuroscience. The amygdala, the brain’s emotional processing center, reacts faster than the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for reasoning. When someone perceives a threat—be it verbal, emotional, or symbolic—their brain may trigger a “fight or flight” response before logic can catch up.
Often, individuals lack the emotional regulation to pause and reflect before reacting. Childhood trauma, social conditioning, and unhealed mental wounds only increase the likelihood of violent outbursts.
Case Study – USA (2022): In California, a minor case of road rage turned into a brutal assault when a veteran suffering from untreated PTSD punched another driver. His lawyer later explained that the violence was not about traffic—it was the result of years of bottled-up trauma that exploded.
Why Dialogue Feels Dangerous: Ego, Pride, and Fear
Talking about feelings requires vulnerability, and for many people, especially men raised in patriarchal cultures, vulnerability is equated with weakness. Rather than admitting fear, guilt, or shame, it feels easier to raise a hand.
Case Study – Pakistan: In 2023, a senior politician publicly slapped a journalist during a press interaction in Lahore after being questioned about corruption allegations. Rather than apologizing, he justified the act by accusing the journalist of “disrespect.” This moment went viral on social media, polarizing opinions. But the underlying issue was clear: the politician felt cornered, humiliated, and reacted with force rather than dialogue.
Case Study – Pakistan: In another high-profile incident, a Chief Minister of a major province slapped a senior bureaucrat in front of cameras and cabinet members during a heated disagreement over administrative decisions. The bureaucrat stood stunned, refusing to retaliate. The event sparked national debate about abuse of power and institutional collapse.
These events are more than just public spectacles—they reveal how power, ego, and emotional immaturity can override reason, especially when accountability is absent.
Displacement and Projection: Dumping Emotions on Others
Sometimes people fight not because of the person in front of them, but because of something (or someone) else entirely.
Displacement happens when emotions meant for one source are redirected onto another. Projection occurs when someone attributes their inner fears or insecurities to another person and then lashes out.
Case Study – France (2021): A father assaulted his child’s teacher over a minor disciplinary issue. It was later discovered that the parent had just gone through a messy divorce and was dealing with unemployment. The teacher simply became the symbolic target of his helplessness.
Case Study – Pakistan (2022): A local government employee in Sindh was attacked by a resident during a ration distribution drive. The attacker had waited for hours and felt humiliated when passed over. His rage was not just about food—it was about his daily experience of being ignored, invisible, and powerless.
In many societies, violence is not only normalized—it is admired. Boys are told “real men don’t cry,” movies glorify action heroes, and those who assert themselves physically are often seen as strong, brave, or patriotic.
Case Study – India (2023): A politician slapped a protester during a public rally. Rather than condemning him, many of his supporters celebrated the act on social media. “He doesn’t take nonsense,” they said. Here, violence was interpreted as leadership.
Case Study – Afghanistan: In tribal communities, where honor codes govern interpersonal behavior, violence is sometimes the only accepted way to resolve insults or disputes. To not retaliate is to lose face.
Such cultures trap people in cycles of vengeance and fear. When violence is embedded in the collective psyche, dialogue feels not just inadequate—it feels shameful.
When Leaders Set a Violent Example
In democratic societies, leaders are meant to model civility and conflict resolution. However, when those in power lose their temper and act violently in public, it sends a dangerous message: violence is acceptable when you’re strong enough to get away with it.
Case Study – Sri Lanka (2022): During an intense parliamentary debate, a member of parliament punched a colleague on live television. The brawl escalated, with chairs being thrown and microphones used as weapons. The footage, widely circulated, became symbolic of political decay.
Case Study – Kenya: In 2021, two rival governors came to blows at a press conference. Both were later mocked online, but neither faced formal consequences. What message does this send to the public?
The Cost of Physical Conflict
The aftermath of a physical fight is rarely clean. Here’s what is usually left behind:
- Legal Repercussions: Assault charges, court battles, loss of reputation.
- Psychological Trauma: Victims and witnesses—especially children—often suffer long-term emotional scars.
- Broken Relationships: Once respect is lost, it’s hard to rebuild.
- Social Polarization: Public fights feed into collective anger and division.
Case Study – Sweden: A schoolyard altercation between two parents left a young boy traumatized. The child, who witnessed his father physically attack another, later became violent himself. “He learned that aggression is how adults solve problems,” a school psychologist explained.
How to Break the Cycle: Solutions and Preventive Strategies
- Emotional Education in Schools
Children must be taught how to identify, name, and regulate emotions. Conflict resolution, active listening, and empathy should be core parts of school curricula.
Example – New Zealand: Restorative justice programs in schools have significantly reduced bullying and violence by promoting structured dialogues between conflicting parties.
- Affordable and Accessible Mental Health Care
Many violent outbursts are expressions of unprocessed trauma or mental illness. Societies must invest in counseling centers, public awareness campaigns, and destigmatize therapy.
- Conflict Mediation Centers at Local Levels
Not every disagreement needs a courtroom. Trained community mediators—respected elders, social workers, or volunteers—can offer neutral spaces for conversation.
Example – Rwanda: Post-genocide, the country implemented “Gacaca Courts,” a community-based reconciliation process that emphasized storytelling and forgiveness over punishment.
- Hold Public Figures Accountable
When leaders are violent, they must face real consequences, not just headlines. Institutional mechanisms like ethics commissions, public apologies, and resignations should be enforced.
- Media Responsibility
Media houses must avoid glorifying violent behavior and instead focus on stories of reconciliation, forgiveness, and non-violence.
- Modeling Behavior at Home
Parents and caregivers must be mindful of how they resolve disputes in front of children. Every slap, every scream, is a lesson in how to handle conflict.
From Violence to Conversation—The Real Strength
Violence is often a sign of inner weakness disguised as strength. It screams where calmness is needed. It destroys where healing is possible. And it silences when understanding is what we seek.
Dialogue may be difficult, even painful, but it is the only path that leads to resolution. Words allow space for nuance, for grace, and for growth. A society that listens heals. A society that strikes, wounds itself.
As individuals, we must ask: Do I want to be heard, or do I want to hurt? Because the answer will define the kind of world we live in tomorrow.
Let us choose the path that builds, not breaks.
________________
Published under International Cooperation with "Sindh Courier"
follow us in google news
Comments